Fashion Star

I love a good reality show. Heck, I even love a bad reality show. So when I saw an advertisement for Fashion Star last month I was excited. But kind of confused about the details of the show. The show has now aired three times and I've watched all three episodes and I like it. But I'm still confused about a lot of details. Here is a list of things I'm confused about:

1. Who is sewing the clothes that appear on the runway? How many people does each designer have helping them?

2. How long do they have to make the clothes?

3. The designers clothes are often styled with other clothes for the runway shows. Who designed these other clothes? Where do the other clothes come from?

4. Where is the fabric coming from? How much do they have to choose from?

6. Do the designers have a material budget?

7. Who retains the rights to the designs?

8. Who is producing the clothes that are being sold in the stores? The show? The stores? The designer? A third party?

9. Where is the money that the buyers are bidding (and paying for the clothes) going? The sum seams arbitrary. Is it only going to the production of the clothes? Is there any profit and if so who is it going to? The party involved in producing the clothes? The factory making the clothes? The show producers? Is the artist getting a percentage?

10. Are the designers on the show making any money on all these sales? Are they getting a percentage? Are they doing all this work for free?

11. Do they get a percentage of the final 6 million dollar order? And if so, how much? How much money do they win at the end of the show?

I like the show but I don't understand why it's so confusing. Jessica Simpson, please help me understand!

This Post is Depressing. . .

. . .  you've been for warned.  There comes a point in this whole process where I have come to a crossroads. Part of me wants to feel like a strong and courageous woman that just needs to bust out Destiny's Child "Survivor." And, the other part of me just wants to cry. Oh, and trust me. . . I.Have.Cried.
I want to be proud that I have come so far and done all of this on my own and then I realize. I am on my own. Nobody helps me. Everything I do is just that, I do it ALL. It kind of feels like a single mom syndrome or something. I take care of everybody else, but who takes care of me? I do everything for everybody else and who does things for me?
All I want is when I am sick and throwing up for someone to get me a blanket or something to drink. When I am laying on the couch and I am too tired to let the dogs outside I just want someone to do it for me. I guess I just never expected that I would be alone. This definitely wouldn't have been the life I'd pick. I wouldn't have picked being a homeowner, working full-time (and then some) an then bring 3 animals into the equation on top of that.
There is so much stress regarding work next year and school. I have no idea if I will have a job next year. I probably won't know for a few months, so that doesn't settle well. And, school. How in the heck am I going to pay for school?!? How do people do it? How do they work and take care of all their responsibilities and go to school at the same time? It stresses me out just to think about it all.
I know I should be super excited. . .  I mean I qualified for this house 100% on my own with NO help (not even emotional support really) from anybody. I am just days away from closing, but it still doesn't feel as good as I thought. I owe more than I thought I would and my payment is higher than I thought it would be. I know I'll manage ( I always do) but so much about life is unsettling.
I know that the divorce papers are in the works and I am just waiting to be served. It's an unsettling feeling, even thought I know it's coming and it doesn't make it feel any easier. I feel like I cannot even talk to people about it because I get reactions like... "GOOD", "About time!" blah .... blah.... blah. Honestly, people can say whatever they want, but it actually makes it harder on me and they are not making me feel better, it makes me feel worse.
Of course, I want all of this to be over. It's going to be a huge relief and I am ready to move on, but the pain is still there. It's like if you have a family member dying of cancer and you cry when they die. Then someone says to you . . . "Well, don't you want them to be in a better place and out of pain and misery?" It's like DUH you want them to be out of their pain and misery, but it doesn't make it any easier or make you cry any less. It hurts. It sucks.  I feel like I am in the same situation.
       

Melting Crayons

I have lots of broken crayons around my classroom and I used to throw them away UNTIL I saw an idea on Pinterest (SHOCKER!) and just had to try it. I picked up 3 silicone ice cube trays at IKEA for $0.99 each and brought home my crayons to try this over the weekend. 

 I sprayed them with Pam and then broke up the crayons to filled the molds.

The perfect baking temperature seemed to be 275 for 15-20 minutes.

I don't think I will use the starfish mold again because they broke when I took them out, but the hearts and flowers are very cute. 

After taking them out of the oven I put them in the freezer to cool for about 5 minutes. 

They didn't turn out quite as well as I thought, but still cute. Next time I will take out all the black, brown and gray colors, so they aren't so drab. Oh well!

My Boys

They are my friends. My partners and my defenders. I am their life, their love, their leader. They will be faithful to be until the last beat of their little hearts. I owe it to them to be worthy of such devotion. 

They don't care if I am rich or poor, big or small, young or old. They don't care how smart I am or if I am popular. They love my stupid jokes and they could careless how ugly I look. 

To these boys I am the greatest, smartest, nicest human being who was ever born. I am their friend and protector. 

I love them so much and couldn't give them up for anything in the world. So instead of getting annoyed that I can't even go to the bathroom without the three of them joining me,  I am going to embrace that they love me so much they can't bear 30 seconds without me. 

♥

Las Vegas!

I've got the itch... again! This is going to be the best trip yet! I think I need a Vegas timeshare, because I am going to keep on going!! Spring Break 2012 will be the BEST yet!

6

Since today would have been our 6th anniversary I thought it was fitting to pay tribute. 

Learn NOT To Say Yes When I Really Mean No

I have struggled with this for my entire life. It usually comes down to the small things in life. When it's really important I will say NO and really mean NO! But, when someone asks if I liked the food, a movie, their hair color, their outfit I have a tenancy to say YES because I hate to hurt someones feelings. I went months without talking to a friend... months. And, out of the blue they texted and asked for a favor. Not a huge favor, but not a small one. It was definitely something big enough that I would have to scratch my evening plans to accommodate this and guess what..... I DID it! I canceled what I had planned that night to go do a favor for someone who is a friend, but not a close person to me. Obviously, that person only texted not to say hello, but because they wanted something from me. What would I change my evening plans to help them out? In my mind I am screaming Noooooooooooo! I can't! I have plans! I don't want to! But, I end up doing it. I really will do anything that someone asks me. I'll buy dinner or a trip because they can't afford it. I will drive everywhere and waste my gas and put myself on a budget because they ask me to drive. Why? I am just too nice. I think that in 2012 it is time for me to start telling people NO! I can't help everybody. When I can, I will. But, if saying yes to them means bringing unhappiness to myself then I need to step back and say NO! There is a find line between being a good, helpful person and being the world's doormat.
   

And, Happy New Year

2012 is reall going to be "my year"  . . . I can just feel it!

2012

I have had several people ask me what I think 2012 holds for me and to be honest I am not sure.
Although, here is my best guess . . .

1) a divorce.

That is all I know. I am guessing that my divorce will be final by June. Beyond that I have no idea. I am not sure if my teaching contract will be extended to the 2012-2013 school year or if I will go back to subbing.
I have no idea if I will get approved to refinance this house in my own name or if the judge will take it and give it to "he who shall remain nameless."
I don't know if I will be living in Vancouver at this time next here or if I will have moved. I will tell you this... if I am without a teaching contract and no longer a home owner you will not be seeing me in Vancouver.

The next few months will be very interesting because whatever happens from March-June will impact this next chapter in my life. I do plan on getting my masters started this fall IF I have a teaching contract.

What I can tell you for sure is that I will not be getting anymore animals. I am at my max- one in 2008, one in 2009 and one in 2011, so I am good for the next 10-12 years.

For the first time in my life I truly don't know what this next year will hold. I am interested to see. And, don't rule me out for marriage and babies in 2012 just yet- you never know what the future holds.

Can I Indulge For Just A Minute?

Please tell me that I am not the only one . . .   ;o)  The only thing missing on the back on my number 15 jersey are the words "Future Mrs." Deep down for the past 4+ years I have had a Tebow crush and now for the first time I really feel "single," so I can shout it from the rooftops. It used to make someone .... er.... umm.... jealous? Yeah, jealous. Puh-leaseeeeeeeeeeee!!! He did gift me with wonderful "Tebow" attire over the years though, so I can't complain too much.

Now my gift to you...

You're welcome!

Be A Member of a TV Show Audience

I really, REALLY want to go to the Price is Right. I always have and I always will. I have been watching it since I was born. Literally.  It now tapes in Las Vegas, so my PLAN is to catch a taping next time I am there.

How fun would it be to actually get on? And, WIN! :o)

Have My Portrait Painted

Any suggestions on where I can do this and what the cost is?

Be in Two Places at Once

Here is how I will do this one . . .

I live so close to Oregon, so all I need to do is park my car near the Washington/Oregon bridge and just walk on across. I will stop and straddle the state lines and there you have it. I will be in two places at once. Washington and Oregon!

I see NO reason that I can't make this happen very soon!  Stay tuned!

Experience Childbirth

I'm gong to kill 3 birds with one stone here. Experiencing childbirth is on my bucketlist, as well as, having a daughter and a son, so here is a post dedicated to all three. 

I always thought that I would want three daughters.  I wanted them about 18-24 months apart and they would all be best friends. They would have long brown hair with little ringlets on the ends and beautiful blue eyes. Now that I am approaching 27 years old and I'm still wanting to be done with babies by 30 I am thinking my 3 little girl dream is over. I think I would settle on one of each now. I still want a girl first. I come from a heavily female dominated family, so raising a boy would be a little foreign, but I think I could do it. So, after I complete my first item on my bucketlist I plan to get to work on this one... PRONTO!!  

And, if you're wondering . . .  I am totally one of those people that want to have a baby without medication. I am so scared to have an IV I might even just pop out out at my house to avoid it. ;)  Having a c-section scar scares me a little more than the idea of an IV. I saw pictures of the most wonderful home birth recently in a tub in a backyard. Now, I don't think I would go THAT far, but ya never know....

Merry Christmas. . .

Marry My TRUE Soul Mate

This is a hard one to write about because, in fact, at 21 years old I truly believed that I had met my soulmate. My perfect match. I felt so lucky and blessed to had found, at such a young age, what some people search a lifetime for.
I didn't find my happy ending after all, so now I am nearly 27 years old and  I'm going back to the drawing board to figure out what is next.
I like to relate this all to teaching. I graduated college at 23 years old and I never thought I would turn 26 and still be subbing. I assumed at the very least I would have a classroom by 25. I was 26 ( and a half ) when I finally got my dream and although it sucked big time to be subbing that long, I now know that it was really good for me and all it all prepared me for what was/is to come.
I hope that my "starter marriage" will have taught me enough that I will be so much better when I get my second go at it. At times I have thought that maybe that was it for me. Married once and it failed. Maybe I am meant to be single for the rest of my life. . . maybe I am not meant to have kids?? I suppose it is all a possibility.
All I can rely on is...
Jeremiah 29:11 - 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'
When it's the right time it will happen. Somehow I just don't think I am meant to be an old lady with a bunch of cats. Heck. . . I don't really like cats. My Rollie is just so special. When he is gone my cat days will be over, so there is no way that can be what is meant for my furture.

Here's the plan . . .

I've decided that I am going to devote one post for each bucketlist item. I want to make a plan and really figure out how in the heck I can achieve what I want to.

I hope you're ready for about 3 months of bucket-postings! :o)

What I Have Accomplished Part 2 . . .

It took me 8 posts to tell the full story about Las Vegas (and, about 3 months, so it probably wasn't as detailed as it should be because I already forgot a bunch of stuff.)

I can only imagine how long it will take me to go indepth though this bucket list, so just bear with me and get ready for a whole lot of "bucketlist" postings.

Plant my own flower garden.

May 17, 2009

Learn to ballroom dance. Properly.

March 2011

Send a message in a bottle.

Kona, Hawaii ~ August 25, 2007

Catch a ball in the crowd of a major leagure baseball game.

August 2002

Ride a horse on a beach.

Long Beach, Washington ~ Summer 2003

Learn how to ice skate.

September 10, 2010

Accept a one-of-a-kind marriage proposal. On top of the Seattle Space Needle just before midnight.

October 20, 2007

Wear a REAL Hawaiian Lei.

August 23, 2007

Fly first class.

To Kona, Hawaii ~ August 21, 2007

Ride in a horse drawn carriage.

Victoria, BC ~ Summer 2004

Stay in a five-star hotel.

Mandalay Bay Las Vegas ~ August 2-5, 2009

Go to Las Vegas. (TWICE!!)

August 2009 & August 2011

Create my own blog.

October 2007

Accept myself for who I am.

2009 and always . . .

The Finale Las Vegas: Part 8

So, it's our last day in Las Vegas. We leave tomorrow morning. I decide to get some breakfast (Starbucks, of course, just like at home) and then decide to change and head out to the pool. T & E went for some casino time downstairs. There is no place in the world where I enjoy laying out at the pool more than in Las Vegas, Nevada.
After laying out for an hour or so I went back to the room to shower and get ready for the day. About the time I was ready to go the gang was back and we set off. We knew we wanted to see a show, but we were having a really hard time deciding just want we wanted to see. I really just wanted to leave it all up to Toni because I have seen a handful of Vegas shows already. We walked down the street in the BLISTERING heat to one of those "half price show ticket" places to see what they had available for that day. We really were not impressed with anything that was left, so we caught the Deuce and decide to head into Caesar's Palace and hit up a few places that we had yet to see.

I think that Caesar's has some of the best shopping in the world. It's not only so beautiful to walk around "The Palace" but the stores make you feel like you are a celebrity!

 

After lunch and a few hours of shopping we headed back to the hotel to make plans for our last night. T and I went downstairs to the concierges to see what they could do for us.  We finally settled on going to see the show "Absinthe" at Caesar's Palace. This show was quite spendy, but absolutely amazing. It takes place outside in a tent, so it's very intimate and every seats is a great seat. This show is not for the faint of heart, nor the easily offended.

After our show it was about 11 pm and it was time to head out to Chateau Night Club inside our next-door sister hotel The Paris. (Beautiful hotel and someday I WILL stay there.) 

    All ready to GO!

The Chateau is a beautiful club, but very small. And, if you don't mind $24 drinks it's a great place. The crowd was not the beautiful Las Vegas crowd you would expect, but the music was good and we were there to DANCE.

  Once we were done with drinks and dancing (my drink of choice was water since I am not into $24 drinks.... lol) we went into Bally's to find dinner. Who knew that dinner was so hard to find in Vegas after 1am? On the way there get to see the fountains at the Bellagio (another place I am dying to stay at).... Here is the best picture that I could get.

 This was taken on the bridge between Caesar's and back to Paris/Planet Hollywood. It is really hard to get close to the fountains unless you actually plan to catch a show and then wait there by the hotel or street to see it.
 The only place we found that we could eat was inside Bally's. For *I think* $20 we got two of these....

 

They were so yummy! You couldn't even taste the alcohol, so it was right up my alley. We ate Mexican food... listened to music and danced a little with our big blue drinks in the middle of Bally's Hotel and Casino. What a perfect way to end a Las Vegas trip.

Next, we wandered back to our hotel room and called it a night. The next morning we used our 24 hour dining pass and had breakfast at out hotel, Planet Hollywood before flagging down a taxi to take us to the airport. 

Las Vegas in my most favorite place to be. Ever. Even more so than Hawaii. There is just something so wonderful about being there and I cannot wait to go back.

Much ♥